Nearly everyone has had at least some part of their regular routine upended by the COVID-19 crisis. Creating a new routine can be a way of protecting your mental well-being during this very difficult time.
Many parents and those who work with children know that getting children on a regular routine is important--it reduces emotional upset, decreases behavior problems, and even improves sleep. But you may not realize that having a regular routine is also important for adults. Being able to have a predictable routine provides a sense of comfort and security (therefore reducing anxiety), gives a sense of 'normalcy' (therefore reducing distress), and gives us something to do to both provide a sense of accomplishment and distract us from anxious thoughts (therefore reducing anxiety and depression). Most of us are having to create a temporary 'new normal' in terms of our daily lives. Here are some tips for helping your family create healthy routines to bolster emotional coping.
Keep to a regular waking time. This does not have to be your previous waking time, but avoid sleeping in excessively late, as this can lead to increased fatigue and even depression.
Keep to a regular bedtime. This again does not have to be your previous bedtime, but avoid staying up excessively late, as this can lead to low quality sleep, less sleep, increased fatigue, and exacerbation of anxiety and depression.
Shower/bathe on your regular schedule. We feel better when we're clean, and whether we immediately recognize it or not, going without cleaning is a behavior that can worsen depression. Plus, taking the time to shower gives you something to do, thus taking up time in your day that may otherwise feel 'empty.'
Eat regular meals, on a regular schedule. Again, predictability and stability in our routines reduces anxiety and stress. This is especially crucial for children, but also important for adults. Avoid mindless eating/excessive snacking, as this is not healthy in general, can lead to weight gain (which can cause stress and depression for some), interferes with eating meals at a regular time due to lack of hunger, and will ultimately lead to more trips to the store to replace snacks, which should be avoided.
If you normally wear makeup, experiment with wearing make up at home; if it makes you feel better and gives you a sense of normalcy, wear make up at home.
Get dressed every day, at the start of your day. This could mean a comfortable pair of sweat pants, but put on clean clothes. Wearing dirty clothes is likely to contribute to a sense of sadness, but we general feel better when wearing clean clothes.
Whether adult, teen, or child, create a predictable (but flexible) routine of activities, including video games, TV, playing in the yard (with no other neighbors or friends), going for a walk (if safe neighborhood for walks and no contact with other people), playing non-electronic inside toys/games, doing schoolwork/professional work, chores, calling/videoconferencing with friends and family, etc.
Be sure that there is time, daily, for alone time, family time, and "couple" time (in homes with children and partners/spouses).
Do not worry about the amount of time children and teens spend on electronic devices (TV, video games, cell phones, computers). Risks of electronic time has often been over-stated in the media, and our current situation requires considerable flexibility in our approach to parenting (though this does not mean parental limits on behavior should be abandoned during this time...see Parenting Through COVID-19 blog).
Have family meals! Research has demonstrated that a regular routine of having dinner together as a family reduces the risk of behavior problems, academic failure, substance abuse, and emotional struggles in children and teens. Research has also shown that eating dinner together as a family increases resiliency in children and adolescents, such that they are better able to cope with life stress when it occurs; certainly the COVID-19 crisis qualifies as life stress. This is a perfect time to develop the habit of family dinners. It does not matter what you eat (sandwiches, frozen lasagna, take out, Thanksgiving-style meal) or how you eat it (paper plates vs fine China), as long as you do it together...and the TV is turned off.
Make sure to spend time with children and teens, doing activities they prefer. Watch their favorite TV show or movie with them (even if you do not like it or have seen it a hundred times). Attempt to play their video games with them...or at least ask them questions about the games they play and show and interest.
Also spend time with children and teens doing activities that they may initially be resistant to, due to it being 'different' than their 'normal.' Play board games. Play charades. Go for a walk (if safe neighborhood for walking and no contact with other people). Have races in the yard. Play 'find the egg' (or any other object) and hide it every morning, to see who finds it during the day; the person who finds it gets to hide it the next day. Be creative...and use Google for ideas.
Exercise on a regular basis. Research (not related specifically to the COVID-19 virus) has shown that regular exercise can reduce the severity of some flus and viruses, and can lower the risk of death for these illnesses. In addition to potential health benefits, exercise has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression. Exercise does not have to be extreme, and in fact should not be excessive, as this can lower the immune system (e.g., long runs aimed at training for a marathon). But regular exercise 3-5 times a week can provide a boost in emotional coping (and again, gives you something to do in a day that may otherwise feel 'empty').
Let the weekends be different from the weekdays. This may easily mean no school work or career work. But it can also mean sleeping in slightly later and going to bed slightly later. Weekends may be the days that you choose to wear clean PJs all day, while wearing 'regular' clothes during the week. Weekends may mean special breakfast (if have ingredients at home), or having a picnic on the living room floor. Having a different routine for the weekends can give you something to look forward to, and can also help provide a sense of the calendar and being able to keep track of 'what day it is.'
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